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I’m not big on resolutions, mostly because my resolve flags by mid-January. As a writer, it’s easy to overdo resolutions. Word count should be higher, distractions should be lower, pajamas should only be used for sleeping. Blah, blah, blah.

This year, I decided to settle into 2015 a bit before making any reckless predictions. If nothing else, it would give me the bump I needed to make it into February. I wrote a list of possibilities: ascend Mount Everest, reformat The Hobbit as a single film, broker an agreement between Democrats and Republicans to play nice. Then I remembered that resolutions should at least have a spitting chance at success. 

So. I pledge to use all the little bottles of hotel shampoos, conditioners and body wash that are currently cluttering my bathroom cabinet. 

For those who know me, this is huge. Alas, so is my collection.

I am a wanderer. I travel whenever opportunity and my bank account align. That passion, combined with my inability to toss a useful item into the trash, has resulted in a cache of toiletries that could clean a Third World country.

The benefits of this resolution abound. As if sporting a mane of squeaky clean and properly conditioned hair wasn’t enough, there are also economic benefits; I may not have to buy hair products until 2019, and if I move, I can hire a smaller truck.

Win-win.

Which brings me to my second resolution. I resolve to use fewer clichés, less jargon and words that actually reside in the dictionary. I will also tone down my sarcasm. Haha. Riiiiiight. That’s a losing battle.

But at least I’ll have shiny hair.